The Awakening

This photo from the Dolomites expresses very well the emotions when I came to terms with what was inside me when I wrote the poem I shared below.

It was Sunday, December 6th, 2020 when I was in Engelberg. You may have already heard about this place from my previous posts. It is a very special place for me.

In November 2020, when I was at the lowest point in my life and needed to make a change, I started a 9-month psychology program with intensive self-reflection, meditation, dealing with the past and looking at moments that influenced the limiting beliefs and behavior patterns shapes that have haunted me since my childhood. The ultimate goal? I wanted to finally feel like I had “arrived,” that I knew myself and was at peace. Or at least get out of this dark hole I seemed to be in.

After a long day of snowboarding, I sat in this hotel room in Engelberg, digesting the intense month of looking deep within myself and uncovering layer after layer of myself to better understand myself and connect on a deeper level. .. I felt the urge to write down all my thoughts and feelings and describe the moment I was in.

The poem is a summary of what the struggles were and what I learned in the first month of this program, with an emphasis on reflecting on current personal issues, identifying the underlying beliefs, and returning to the time when they arose , and transforming them into something better. This included patience and honesty, the courage to look back, and compassion and love for my younger, earlier self.

It poured out of me in the form of these rhymes within a few minutes. I still read the poem every few months to remind myself of the revelation granted to me during that time.

Each time you read one or more verses reveal a different meaning. Every time a new facet, a new wisdom, is revealed to me between the lines. I hope it's of some use to you too.

That was about a year before meeting Jesus. Slowly I became closer to myself, slowly connected to who I was. But my wounds were still there and could only truly heal when I was able to experience God's love. The emptiness in my heart filled only with God.