To finally be free
or “I want PomPom!”
Written by Theresa Nhật Lai Ngô on Friday, February 23, 2024
The call for freedom, oh, we children.
Do we know what we want?
We humans are like the two-year-old twins Henriette and Henry who scream “PomPom!”. Her dad – from Germany – hears it and opens the red bag of chips with the crispy bears. Henriette and Henry continue to scream “PomPom!” and throw the bag off the table. Dad looks at mom perplexed.
Her mom – of French descent – smiles at the children and washes an apple, cuts it and serves the juicy apple slices to her children. She is particularly proud right now because her children already seem to know what apple means in French and what will both fill them up and be good for them. The same thing happens to her as to her husband. With momentum and without delay, Henriette reaches out with both arms and throws the “pom-poms” onto the floor. The children are screaming even louder now. They feel misunderstood and angry because they don't get what they want.
Yes, we are like Henriette and Henry. But we slightly older children scream for “freedom!” because we think it will make us happy. So far so good. But don’t we mean something else when we say “freedom!” scream than what she is? What is freedom? Maybe we already have it and throw it on the floor?
When we cry freedom,
we usually think Independence.
Do we think that freedom means we can do what we want, when we want, how we want? Most people might confuse freedom with independence. But that's such a long and difficult word to say. Maybe that's why we use freedom and independence almost interchangeably these days. There is a fundamental difference (hence two different words). Independence is more true to what we imagine when we call “Freedom!”.
Independence means not depending on anything or anyone to do what you want. If you ask “To do what?” we often get answers like: "Go on a trip around the world, start my own company, have enough money, do whatever I want." (By the way: Everything I write here comes from my own experience and I answered exactly the same way not long ago...)
Independence is empty and cannot bring happiness.
And then? We think we would be happy then. We assume that independence will eventually lead to happiness. But how can something without value or purpose behind it make you happy and be good? Independence is an empty race in circles. Doing what you want, in order to do what you want, in order to do what you want.
Freedom means being able to choose what is good. There is a direction here. Unfortunately, nowadays we close our eyes to the fact that good and evil even exist. We take everything relatively. Everything individual. Although there are obviously laws that are above our control and that we have to follow in order to prosper. But we humans place ourselves above all laws because it is no longer important to do good, but to do it at all, no matter what.
Independence is worthless freedom. To do what I want, to do what I want. Endless.
The reality withdrawn.
True freedom is valuable freedom, the ability to choose the good.
We experience abundance of life.
Henriette and Henry actually want "bonbons" (sweets).
But like us, outwardly adult children, they are not able to properly articulate what they want, nor are they able to recognize what is actually good for them in the long term.
The big advantage of Henriette and Henry is that they still intuitively feel that they are dependent on their parents and listen to them when their parents say something because they probably know better.
We outwardly grown children think we have everything checked out and are the rulers of ourselves and the world. In fact, God has made us only a little less than himself. But we are still lagging behind in using this power properly.
Who rules or controls me?
The pursuit of independence ultimately leads to lack of freedom.
A common example is technology. She seems superior to most people, at least that's how I often feel. After excessive scrolling or YouTube binging, I wonder how could I have wasted three hours for nothing? (For me the answer is always crystal clear: I'm running away from something I should deal with) And that wouldn't even be the worst scenario. Most of the time I feel bad afterwards, I want to buy more stuff, I'm jealous of what others have, I feel less worthy, I have the feeling that I have to do more to be more successful/prettier/smarter/richer, to be “freer” and so on thus supposedly becoming happy. There are dozens of examples among friends and acquaintances, celebrities and “successful” people who testify to exactly the opposite.
We don't have to look at the entire history of humanity...
Happiness and peace are not where all people tend to look first.
And then I reconnect with myself and my Creator and need nothing else to be deeply happy and fulfilled.
With God alone may my soul be at peace, for my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress, I will not waver. In God is my salvation and my honor, my strong rock, in God is my refuge. Trust in him, people, at all times!
Pour out your heart to him! For God is our refuge. Men are only a breath of wind, only the children of men are borne. They shoot up on the scales, they are all lighter than a breath of wind. Don't rely on oppression, don't rely on robbery! As wealth increases, do not lose your heart to it!
Psalm 62:6-11
Absolute independence and absolute equality are both illusions. They don't exist.
We demand “freedom” and equality because we believe that everything will be fine. But if we falsely strive for independence and call for freedom, then there is no guarantee at all that things will turn out well. How then without value and goal? Besides, independence is an illusion. We are so dependent. If we want to or not. Nobody is and can be completely independent. Think of the air you breathe, the heart that beats inside you without you doing anything about it, or the highway you drive on that someone once commissioned and required many workers to complete. Yes, I said it, you are dependent on the fact that Hitler existed when you drive on a German highway. And no, that doesn't make Hitler's shameful actions any good.
Let's assume we really demand precious freedom. The problem: We don't believe that we already have it intrinsically within us. But how can I show appreciation for someone else and treat them with equal dignity as a human being when I can't even do the same for myself? Should any human, state laws be able to change anything? Unrealistic.
We shouldn't rather equal-dignity demand than equality?
And here the same problem arises as with freedom. We are all given equal dignity as human beings, we just don't live by it. Equality is again an illusion because there are different roles and therefore different rights and obligations in a society. A garbage collector will not be allowed to determine the salary of his colleague or his boss, but if he were only paid according to his dignity, then he and his boss would have to receive the same wage. Is the boss worth more or more important because he gets paid more? No. He is likely to receive more pay to compensate for the increased responsibilities he must bear that come with his role and rights. This is a short trip to equality. But it's all connected.
These days we need others to tell us that it's okay to be who we are. It's no longer enough to believe it ourselves because we've forgotten how to do it. Because we have forgotten God who tells us who we are.
We already have freedom and dignity.
Given by God, but do we live by it?
The cry for freedom (and equality) is actually a cry for love and appreciation. A desperate cry to be saved.
And yet. And yet. We make demands about how we want to be saved and don't want to accept the only true salvation. Yes, that is freedom. We humans are much freer than we would like.
Everything is about freedom. There's a point. The problem of today's world? Maybe a distorted, unreasonable, helpless, unrealistic perception and hope for worthless freedom.
Freedom must lead to the good, to the true, to the beautiful, to the peaceful and ultimately to love, otherwise it is not what it claims to be.
Love, and then do what you want.
Augustine
Okay, so let's call for true freedom...
But what stops us from being free if our Creator has already created us free?
Jesus gives us the answer:
The truth will set you free.
Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
Johannes 8:32
What lies are preventing me from being free?
So come on, what lies am I still holding on to? Have I done something bad and want to hide it? I can't change the situation for the better if I don't first real-ize it. And if I realize that a habit is not good for me, then I first have to admit to myself that I may not be able to always do what I want and what is good for me. Let's say I like food and notice that I always eat too much at lunchtime and it makes me sluggish and tired. Do I allow myself to enslave myself to my own digestion or do I change something so that I can work efficiently in the afternoon? Who controls whom here? Does food control me?
And the “love and then do what you want” thing.
To love… what does it mean to truly love?
Again Jesus helps us:
To love is to lay down one's life for another.
This is how we recognized love, that He laid down His life for us. So we too must lay down our lives for our brothers.
1. John 3:16
No, don't give in with the expectation that the other person loves me too or is prepared to lay down their life for me. It must be a selfless and unconditional devotion. No transaction with expectations. Regardless of the result. Uninterested love. Without any hoped-for benefit from it, without any calculation.
That's the way it is.
Jesus demonstrates it. Shall we do it again?
And you, what is your deepest longing?
What do you want?
Music
© Nhat Lai Webdesign & Consulting