The chosen and the chosen people
Written by Theresa Nhật Lai Ngô on Sunday, March 12, 2023
Yesterday reconciled, today in the Holy Land
Thursday, February 9, 2023 – It was the third day. It was the day after I spent half the night with you at the place where you were crucified. The sun occasionally shone through the clouds, which have rained heavily over the last few days. I allowed myself to be locked with you in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Only you and I, in silence, in peace, we could talk about everything that was on my mind, what you had on your mind for me.
I thanked you for the reconciliation with my Muslim ex-husband, which had happened at home just a few days before the flight. This is how the journey to the Holy Land began. I thanked you for the freedom and peace after this reconciliation, which has been five years in coming.
I thanked you for breaking the chains in this 5 minute conversation. I thanked you for the salvation you gave me. I believe it was healing for him too. Maybe a little for the whole world. At least that's how it felt when we looked at each other, both pairs of eyes filled with tears. Still with so much pain, despair and at the same time with goodwill for each other.
A ton of weight fell off my shoulders that I wasn't even aware I was carrying. Reconciliation has set me free. We wished each other all the best in life.
A farewell that took a long time to mature.
Jerusalem February 2023: Entrance hall of the church where Jesus was buried
The first walk through ancient Jerusalem
So there I was in Jerusalem, in the Holy City, after a fulfilling night with you, where you filled me up with hope and love, where you reassured me of your promises because you know how impatient I am. Full of curiosity about what else you had planned for me in the next few days, I set out to explore old Jerusalem, stroll through the alleys and spray your scent into every corner.
“Hey you, I need to talk to you!” a man called out to me in English. I was now almost at Damascus Gate, in the Muslim quarter. Shop after shop selling clothing for Muslim women, selling headscarves and dresses of all colors, alongside small places selling souvenirs, coffee, chai and baklava. “My name is Mustafa. And you?"
I hesitated, I didn't really want to buy anything, but I agreed to a conversation: "I'm Theresa."
He looked at me and replied, “Theresa, like Sister Theresa. God says I should talk to you today.”
He then spent half an hour telling me about Islam, about the “perfect Mohammed” and proudly emphasized again and again that he knows men who know every word in the Koran by heart and know when someone recites even one word incorrectly. I wondered why this was so important to him.
At some point he asked: “What are you doing here in Jerusalem?”
Me: “Look at the places where Jesus was. I haven’t been a Christian for long and I still have a lot of catching up to do.”
Mustafa: “Christianity is already close. You believe in God, that's good. So many people in this world are lost, they have no support, no values, no hope.”
Mustafa: The reason for my visit to the Holy Land?
I realized that he was a good person and tried to be close to you, but obviously had a wrong image of you. I tried to be open about what you wanted to tell me through Mustafa. Even though some of his comments were aimed at attacking you, he didn't know any better. And every time he mentioned the "perfect Mohammed," I had to pull myself together not to counter directly. Why did he always have to emphasize "perfect" so much? He seemed to have a different definition of "perfect"... I kept that to myself. I realized: Your name carries so much strength, power and healing in itself, Jesus, that your name needs no addition. You gave me the patience and helped me to see him through your eyes, with your gaze of mercy and love. I realized that I was only able to do this because I did not mix my personal experiences with Islam. I was no longer bitter. I could speak to him freely without feeling personally attacked because you had only freed me through reconciliation a few days earlier. The deeper I was involved in this conversation, the more amazed I was by you and the need to praise and glorify you. It was as if you had been preparing me for this moment for the last few weeks.
Jerusalem February 2023: Depiction of Christ's Way of the Cross in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre
Jesus, cross and resurrection
Then Mustafa said: “You know, we Muslims believe that Jesus did not die and rise again. He ran away before he went to the cross. Another died on the cross for him.”
Me: "The fact that Jesus was crucified and died has nothing to do with faith. There are enough witnesses and evidence for that. Even for his resurrection, there are hundreds of eyewitnesses who saw him alive. If I don't believe that he conquered death, then my faith has no foundation. I now know that he saved me and died for me, as well as for the whole world, so that we can all rise with him... even if I will never be completely immune to doubt."
He changed the subject. I tried not to directly dispute what he said, but to bear witness to what I believed with all my heart, mind, and soul.
Bethlehem February 2023: Birthplace of Jesus
Who is God in Islam?
I looked for similarities: “You know, the religions that believe in one God are actually quite similar. But we don't discuss the essentials. The essence is to know (at least try) who and what God is like. Everything else is irrelevant because it is just a consequence of who God is.”
He wanted to convert me, that was now undeniable. He wanted to convince me that Islam was the “true religion”. He also talked a lot about paradise, subtly implying that only as a Muslim would you get to paradise.
Mustafa: “If you knew Islam, you would realize that it is the true religion.”
Me: “I have had intensive contact with Islam for 7 years, I attended Koran school and learned Arabic to read the Koran. I still know Al Fatiha by heart. But it just didn't feel like the truth.”
Al Fatiha is the daily prayer that every Muslim prays several times a day.
Mustafa: "Really?"
He started to pray. I got in with:
We prayed to the same God, I hoped.
Only you know his heart, Lord. Anyway, we prayed together out loud in Arabic in the middle of old Jerusalem and thanked and praised you, God. And asked that you would show us the right path and not let us go astray. A newly converted Christian and a devout Muslim. It seemed like an incredible moment of unity and brotherhood. I did not pray the final two sentences (the Muslim creed), but Mustafa was still happy and beamed with joy.
Mustafa: “Hasn’t anyone told you anything about Islam and the perfect Mohammed in these 7 years?”
Me: "I simply never wanted to believe that God is like that. I wanted abundance, joy, peace, love, freedom, and all of that in unlimited quantities. It made me sad that Muslims were so submissive and oppressive. I don't want to accept their image of God and the resulting image of humanity. I wish that all Muslims would allow themselves to be elevated by God, as people with inviolable dignity, created in God's image. See themselves as God sees them."
He evaded and said:
“Jesus is just a man who wanted to pretend to be God.”
Then he told me a story where the son betrayed the father and took the entire inheritance without considering the father. Then he said, “Think quietly about this story.”
I now knew that Mustafa has two sons and that his father is married to two women, meaning he has many siblings in other countries who do not have the same mother. He tried to talk about it casually, like it was normal, like he didn't have a problem with it. He told me that he often visited them and brought them gifts. I could have shared with him my observations that I felt it bothered him that his father didn't have just one family. But I stuck to just talking about my experiences and beliefs. Thank you, Lord, for guiding me and giving me the right words:
Father and son: betrayal or perfect love?
"Betrayal can certainly occur between father and son when we look at people. I believe in a perfect love between father and son. A love that is divine, that unites both of them so that they are one and from their love flows even more love, the Holy Spirit, that fills us all. Because God is love. I understand that it is incomprehensible to others. That is why it is called believing. But since I was able to experience this God of love, I cannot do anything other than believe...
You're lucky your family believes in God. My parents and my brother, I don't really know what they believe. It hurts to see, but I trust that God is good and will not abandon them, that they too will go to heaven.
I had never been able to believe that Jesus was the truth, God and Son of God, until He showed Himself to me.”
He replied with some concern, “Does that mean you have to see Him to believe? What kind of god is this? Otherwise you won’t get to paradise?”
God is merciful and wants to save everyone
Me: "I know that God is merciful and good and wants to save all souls. I had to see Him first to believe. He knew that I needed more help than others. The Bible says: "Blessed are those who do not see and believe." I was simply a hopeless case. Of course you can believe without seeing. There are as many ways to experience Him as there are people. He calls everyone by name, including Muslims. I know that Jesus loves Muslims."
He, somewhat speechless: “Sure, he was also a Muslim and a prophet. But they misinterpreted so much that God had to send another one. The Quran is perfect. Every word as written is from God. In the Bible everyone understands what they want, it was also written by people.” I refrained from showing him what contradictions there are in the Koran and that God would not be God if he contradicted himself.
Me: “Right, the Bible was written by humans and at the same time by God. How you were led by God to talk to me today. It was your decision, but His work in you. God is almighty and so great that we humans cannot understand him. So there is only the possibility that He communicates Himself to us in human words and enables us to come closer to understanding Him. To claim that God could be accurately recorded in a book would completely call into question his greatness and omnipotence. God is much more than we humans can imagine or understand. It cannot be contained in a book. He is the Word that lives.”
He thinks about it, but can't find the words.
Why there are different religions
Me: "I believe God allows these different religions to teach us something, how we can be more like Him. How we can love each other and form a unity and not harp on our differences. I have so much hope when I see how Muslims, Jews and Christians live together in such a small space. Not always peacefully, with a lot of tension, but still amazingly a supernatural peace, almost a miracle. This place, especially Jerusalem, is holy to all of us. Why did God do it this way? He wants us to learn to be brothers and sisters."
Old Jerusalem 2023: In the Christian Quarter
Jews, God's chosen people
Mustafa: “But the Jews think they are special… God’s chosen ones.”
Interesting that Mustafa of all people is bothered by “being chosen”. His name means “the chosen one”.
Old Jerusalem 2023: In the Jewish Quarter
I didn’t know that at the time and, probably to his surprise, replied, “So they are. They are God's chosen people. But chosen doesn't mean better or worse. That means they have a role to play in our history through their difference.
We are human beings and we are constantly fighting for power and recognition... God wants us to see what is really important. That there is strength in weakness. And that is not a typical human way of thinking... nor is it how we see God. That is why He came to us in the world as a fragile child to serve. He wants us to learn to be like Him and to meet one another as brothers and sisters in truth, that is, in our fragility, and in love."
But Mustafa continued to insist: “But it cannot be that God has chosen her. They think they are something better and take everything they think is theirs.”
War, pain, suffering, hatred... that's what people do to one another who are not with God, no matter what religion they belong to
I responded to him: “I’m sorry. We are all fighting for the same thing, but have forgotten why and instead cause each other suffering. We all want peace, right? Someone has to start treating others with love. And this love can only come from God. God is love. War, pain, suffering, hatred... that's what people do to one another who are not with God, no matter what religion they belong to. Peace only comes with love.”
While Mustafa is visibly processing what has been said, he changes the subject again: “Be sure to visit the Aqsa Mosque. You are not allowed to pray in it, but you can visit it. It is an important place for us Muslims.”
Old Jerusalem 2023: Aqsa Mosque with golden dome
Let's find the truth together
I noticed that he still had the urge to convince me, but perhaps he also didn't allow himself to doubt what he believed to be true and to be unsettled by what you, God, spoke through me. Understandable, everything was at stake for him.
Me: “I don’t want to convince you to believe what I believe. If you are open to it, Jesus will reveal Himself to you in the way you need. I just always looked for the truth and didn’t expect Him to be it.”
Mustafa: “I hope that together we will find the truth. Thank you for the talk."
Find the truth together. O Lord, you are wonderfully great! Getting closer and closer to the truth, even if we can never fully grasp and understand it. Always closer to you, because the truth comes from you and leads us to you. You are the truth and everything that is a lie cannot come from you.
Thank you, Lord, for Mustafa. He has drawn me closer to you and you will continue to draw him closer to you. Because you are good. So good. Be praised forever and ever!
Amen.
The sun breaks through old walls
A new wind will blow
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