Written by Theresa Nhật Lai Ngô on Friday, March 28, 2025,
3rd Friday of Lent
Ice-cold questions
“Why did you leave your country?”
“Why did you leave your country?”
My mother often heard this question from me. I didn't ask it out of curiosity, but with the unspoken accusation: "If only you had stayed there, you'd be better off." My mother probably noticed.
“For you and your brother,” my mother answered again and again and then told the dramatic story of how she emigrated with us from her homeland Vietnam.
It was winter 1993.
My mother carried me, a two-year-old, in her arms. My brother was nine years old and walked beside us. It was night somewhere in Poland. A young woman with two small children in an unknown country.
Darkness, ice-cold, dry air and a wind that went right to the bone.
My mother put one leg after the other through the waist-deep icy water to cross the river. Her heart was filled with concern for her own life, but above all, for the lives of her children.
I was in her arms, resting in that safe haven. I was too young to remember it.
But I could never bear this story as a child. I saw her struggles with Germany, the language, the culture. And then the hard physical work, day in, day out. I wanted her to be happy. And apparently, I was to blame for her unhappiness.
I often reacted defiantly:
“Why didn't you just stay in Vietnam?”
“Why did you suffer so much for me?” I asked her. And added desperately: “I didn’t ask you to do that.”
When I was younger, I didn't want to accept her maternal sacrifice and thus closed myself off to her love. I didn't want to accept that I was the reason for her suffering.
On the other hand, it must be an even greater pain when one's own child rejects the love and sacrifices that a mother wants to give him or her.
With mother and brother in Vietnam before emigration
Making sacrifices is a mother's nature. To give everything for her child.
Mary, my heavenly mother, helped me open my heart to accept the love of my biological mother.
And also the suffering that comes with receiving this motherly love. The sacrifices she has already made so that I can live.
Making sacrifices is a mother's nature. To give everything for her child.
Me and my mother –
Healing through the hands of Mary
Today my heart is more open to my mother.
And for their tremendous sacrifice for me.
Of course, it's a path. Sometimes it's still a painful one.
And yet it's worth it. She's worth it.
All this thanks to and through Mary.
Mary – Mother of all mothers
I remain before Mary like a baby,
that expects everything from her.
Like an infant who throws itself into her protective arms with boundless trust, completely dependent on the divine graces that flow from God through her to me. In her womb, I am safe and secure. She sacrifices her life for me and gives me everything.
Even her most precious possession, her beloved son.
Simply because she is my mother.
That's the way it is.
The most beautiful place on earth is...
...in my mother's womb
Prayer to Mary – Mother of all Graces
Maria,
Our Lady of Grace,
Mother of Sorrows,
Mother of Mercy,
take away our ingratitude,
all the pain we children have caused you,
all the tears you shed for us and
all the misfortune we have experienced, especially in our relationships with our mothers,
take it into your lap, into your heart,
and transform everything and us into a gift that pleases you and your Son Jesus.
Give us your heart so that we may enter the streams of grace that flow between you and the Most Holy Trinity,
can immerse yourself.
With God your Father,
with God, your Son,
with God your bridegroom the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Fun fact
My mother had so much milk while breastfeeding that she was able to feed the neighbors' children.
This is how I imagine Mary. An inexhaustible source of milk that nourishes us and makes us grow. We too may taste the same milk that Jesus, our God and King, tasted. We lean toward her breast, toward her heart, from which streams of grace flow ceaselessly from God through her to us. Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Amen.
Vietnam, circa 1961: Mom on Grandma's lap.
Vietnam, circa 1985: Two sisters, two mothers.
Translation of Mẹ Yêu (Beloved Mother) a Vietnamese song
With many difficulties and hardships you gave birth to me.
You rock me to sleep and love me so deeply.
Wish me that kindness and tenderness will always be with me,
and that I sleep well.
For the sake of your beloved innocent children.
You sacrificed so many years of your life for me.
Mother, you were with me.
Mother, you raised me.
Always by my side to advise me to be a good person.
Mother, you love me, your child, more than life.
Wish me to love life and be happy always.
How great is the love for me!
All the nights you held me in your arms and cried until my shoulder was wet with your tears.
Mother, do you know that I love you so much.
Even though I don't have the words, I really want to say it.
The star that lights up the night for me is my beloved mother.
Lullaby in my dream is my beloved mom.
You are the bird that makes me fly far away.
You warm my soul, my beloved mother.
My beloved mother, you guide me through so much pain.
The voice I call forever is that of my beloved mother.
Mother, don't leave me forever, dear mother.
Thank you, Mom.
Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?
Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you,
unless one is born again
he cannot see the kingdom of God.
Nicodemus replied:
How can a man be born when he is old?
Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb
and be born?
Jesus answered, Amen, amen, I say to you:
Unless one is born of water and the Spirit,
he cannot enter the kingdom of God.
That which is born of the flesh is flesh;
But that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
Do not marvel that I said to you:
You must be born again.
Johannes 3:3-7
Music
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